Celebrating Non-scale Victories!!!

I have had 3 non-scale victories this week and it's only Wednesday! I forgot how awesome they feel! I have been so focused on that scale not budging much over the last few weeks that I have gotten a little discouraged. I have still pushed on though. In the past this would have been the point that I threw in the towel. Did I mention this is my 4th time to lose weight? I also have PCOS which likes to play games with my hormones and can make it more difficult to lose at times.

Okay so on to the positive stuff!!! Monday I was super exhausted! Plus I have been stressed. I really wanted to binge eat. I had a ton of cravings and I only have 14 Flex points left for the week (which I plan to use on Thanksgiving). I had just went grocery shopping and had some junk in the cabinets. I have not complete convinced my family to go 100% healthy and they are a small army that overpower me! ha (I do encourage serving sizes and moderation) Needless to say we had bags of chips and sugary cereal to name a few. I contemplated and tried to justify my need for sugar and carbs for about 10-15 minutes. Instead I went and took a bath. I wasn't hungry anyways and it was 9pm. This may seem small and unimportant for some but when you are an emotional binge eater and you are stressed THIS IS HUGE! I almost always give into to my ridiculous cravings.

Yesterday we had our Thanksgiving celebration at work. We had didn't do a tradition feast but there was still a lot of unhealthy options. Luckily there were enough healthy options to pick from. My dear friend made a gluten free veggie lasagna. The real non-scale victory was staying away from the dessert table! Did I mention that I LOVE sweets? They are my kryptonite! Victory #2!

Another friend gave me a ton of her clothes that she doesn't wear anymore or never wore at all. I was super stoked. I love a good deal! ;) So I mentioned to her that I had a pair of the pants on and she mentioned them being size 13/14. I told her no, I thought they were 16. Got me thinking...so I went and checked. Sure enough they WERE a size 13/14!!! I didn't even know! At the beginning of the year I wore an 18/20. Victory #3!

There it is. Three things that I am super grateful for. Small things that matter. I am working on loving my body for what it is and what it can do now instead of hating it for what it's not. This includes not letting the scale define me. Yes, I need to be within a healthy weight but as long as I'm working daily at achieving that I am okay with it taking as long as it takes.

What are some of your non-scale victories that you need to celebrate?

Importance of Journaling

Some women love shoes...I love journals and notebooks! I love putting pen to paper. I have my food journal with me at all times. Only way for me to track properly. I usually have a smaller notebook about 5x7 or a smidge smaller. This way it can easily fit into my purse.

I also keep a prayer journal. I find it easier to talk to God this way. Usually if I start to pray out loud (technically in my head) next thing you know I'm over in left field off on another tangent. Writing helps me stay focused on the Lord and to show all of my gratitude...and of course pray!

I only have a few pages left in my prayer and food journals. You know what that means! I got to take a stroll down the stationary aisle. I ended up with two new journals and then two super cute composition notebooks. I couldn't decide which I liked best...so I got them all.

My prayer journal has the scripture of Psalms 118:24 on the front. "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it". In love! I usually get up about 5:30 am to start my day and this will be a great reminder to be joyful!

The "yes you can" composition notebook will be my goals notebook. I am starting to write my goals in 12 week increments. As I accomplish goals and find things that aren't working I will need to update them. Three months seems like a great time to re-evaluate. 

The "anything is possible" composition notebook is just for funsies right now.  Who knows. I am sure I can assign a purpose to it.

I pulled a muscle in my left quad so I have been taking it easy today. I happen to have an appointment scheduled with a massage therapist tomorrow but I don't know if that will help? I will talk to her bout it. This is the first time I have had a pulled quad. lol Other than magnesium oil and a bit of heat I'm not sure what to do with it.

While I rest up I am going to start writing in my notebooks. Making my goals super official. To achieve your dreams you must turn them into goals. Then turn your goals into affirmations. Writing time!

Self Image Struggles

I have been struggling with the time change. I feel like I am trying to hibernate! The last few evenings I have been carb loading and trying to pass-out around 7:30pm. Plus there was the stress of the Election...

I have also been struggling with body image lately. I feel stagnant in my weight loss. It is coming off more slowly as the year progresses. Which is understandable. It typically comes off faster at first as you introduce diet change and physical fitness. I keep pushing forward even after I fall down...This week I lost 4 oz. Better than a gain though.

I can remember at one point early into my weight loss journey my resting heart rate was at 94. Did you hear that??? 94!!! That's not good! Now my resting heart rate is about 64/65. So over the last 10 months I have reduced my resting heart rate 30 points. My heart is working more effectively now.

So over the last 10 months I have lost 51 lbs, lost several inches(I need to find my starting inches), a few pant sizes and lowered my resting heart rate 30 points and I still struggle to see that big of a difference. I emotionally feel like I am still 237 lbs on some days.

I am trying to focus on what my body can do rather than what it isn't. I know that I will never have my body back to the way it was before I had kiddos. I gained 90 lbs with my first pregnancy. I didn't just get stretchmarks, I got skin tears. Everywhere. Even the backs of my knees. That cute little belly ring I was once able to wear will never see the light of day again. There is loose skin and sad boobies. lol But you know what? I can walk. I have all of my limbs. I can play with my children. I am otherwise healthy (with the exception of my PCOS and anxiety disorder). My husband thinks I am beautiful.

Why do I put so much value on my outward appearance? Of course you feel better when you take care of yourself. That's not what I mean...but when I look in the mirror all I can see is my "mom tummy" and the bags under my eyes. I am getting older by the minute. I am more than that though. I know this. 

I am on a mission to love my body and to be comfortable in my own skin. I know it has to be possible. It won't matter how much weight I lose if I can't love my body as it is now I will never be happy with it.