My Weightloss Journey...One Year Down

Life has turned me upside down the past few weeks. Our home was opened as a provisional foster home and we have two new little ones. My daughter had an appendectomy, my husband has a hiatal hernia, my husband's car broke down, the two new little have both been sick separate times, we had hiccups in getting my stepson here for Christmas break and I have been swamped with paperwork to get certified for fostering. I've definitely been humbled this month.

I've managed to stay on top of tracking my food and getting my workouts completed. I didn't lose any weight last week but I also had an unwelcomed visitor. I did splurge on Christmas Eve and Christmas more than I wanted to.

I have one more week left of this year and I want to lose ONE more pound. This would put me at 60 lbs lost for the year. Even with PCOS, that's an average of 1.15 lbs per week. Although there were plenty of weeks that I lost nothing...

I keep getting compliments and questions about my weight loss. People ask if I am at my goal weight and a lot of them seem to think I have lost enough. The reality is I still weigh 178 lbs. I am still a size 13/14. I am super happy about that but I know there is still progress to be made.

Rather than focusing on the scale, like I have my entire life, I am going concentrate on strength training. I know that to change the shape of my body I have to train with weights. This will be a learning process for me.  

This is the first year that I have not given up midway through and gained all of my weight back. What exactly did I do to lose weight? I tracked all of my food intake. I use Weight Watchers' previous points system. I made sure to keep up my intake of supplements. I love AdvoCare. I workout. True story. lol I love FitnessBlender videos on youtube.com. I drink plenty of water and get plenty of sleep. Easy enough, right?

I would say the two things that made the difference was giving it to God because I know I can't do it on my own and I committed to the process through affirmation statements. Have a support system if at all possible. If you don't have one at home or work you find one online. I love Instagram because you can follow real people on their fitness journey and find inspiration and motivation.

I gladly welcome others to join me on this journey to get healthy! :)  

Celebrating Non-scale Victories!!!

I have had 3 non-scale victories this week and it's only Wednesday! I forgot how awesome they feel! I have been so focused on that scale not budging much over the last few weeks that I have gotten a little discouraged. I have still pushed on though. In the past this would have been the point that I threw in the towel. Did I mention this is my 4th time to lose weight? I also have PCOS which likes to play games with my hormones and can make it more difficult to lose at times.

Okay so on to the positive stuff!!! Monday I was super exhausted! Plus I have been stressed. I really wanted to binge eat. I had a ton of cravings and I only have 14 Flex points left for the week (which I plan to use on Thanksgiving). I had just went grocery shopping and had some junk in the cabinets. I have not complete convinced my family to go 100% healthy and they are a small army that overpower me! ha (I do encourage serving sizes and moderation) Needless to say we had bags of chips and sugary cereal to name a few. I contemplated and tried to justify my need for sugar and carbs for about 10-15 minutes. Instead I went and took a bath. I wasn't hungry anyways and it was 9pm. This may seem small and unimportant for some but when you are an emotional binge eater and you are stressed THIS IS HUGE! I almost always give into to my ridiculous cravings.

Yesterday we had our Thanksgiving celebration at work. We had didn't do a tradition feast but there was still a lot of unhealthy options. Luckily there were enough healthy options to pick from. My dear friend made a gluten free veggie lasagna. The real non-scale victory was staying away from the dessert table! Did I mention that I LOVE sweets? They are my kryptonite! Victory #2!

Another friend gave me a ton of her clothes that she doesn't wear anymore or never wore at all. I was super stoked. I love a good deal! ;) So I mentioned to her that I had a pair of the pants on and she mentioned them being size 13/14. I told her no, I thought they were 16. Got me thinking...so I went and checked. Sure enough they WERE a size 13/14!!! I didn't even know! At the beginning of the year I wore an 18/20. Victory #3!

There it is. Three things that I am super grateful for. Small things that matter. I am working on loving my body for what it is and what it can do now instead of hating it for what it's not. This includes not letting the scale define me. Yes, I need to be within a healthy weight but as long as I'm working daily at achieving that I am okay with it taking as long as it takes.

What are some of your non-scale victories that you need to celebrate?

Self Image Struggles

I have been struggling with the time change. I feel like I am trying to hibernate! The last few evenings I have been carb loading and trying to pass-out around 7:30pm. Plus there was the stress of the Election...

I have also been struggling with body image lately. I feel stagnant in my weight loss. It is coming off more slowly as the year progresses. Which is understandable. It typically comes off faster at first as you introduce diet change and physical fitness. I keep pushing forward even after I fall down...This week I lost 4 oz. Better than a gain though.

I can remember at one point early into my weight loss journey my resting heart rate was at 94. Did you hear that??? 94!!! That's not good! Now my resting heart rate is about 64/65. So over the last 10 months I have reduced my resting heart rate 30 points. My heart is working more effectively now.

So over the last 10 months I have lost 51 lbs, lost several inches(I need to find my starting inches), a few pant sizes and lowered my resting heart rate 30 points and I still struggle to see that big of a difference. I emotionally feel like I am still 237 lbs on some days.

I am trying to focus on what my body can do rather than what it isn't. I know that I will never have my body back to the way it was before I had kiddos. I gained 90 lbs with my first pregnancy. I didn't just get stretchmarks, I got skin tears. Everywhere. Even the backs of my knees. That cute little belly ring I was once able to wear will never see the light of day again. There is loose skin and sad boobies. lol But you know what? I can walk. I have all of my limbs. I can play with my children. I am otherwise healthy (with the exception of my PCOS and anxiety disorder). My husband thinks I am beautiful.

Why do I put so much value on my outward appearance? Of course you feel better when you take care of yourself. That's not what I mean...but when I look in the mirror all I can see is my "mom tummy" and the bags under my eyes. I am getting older by the minute. I am more than that though. I know this. 

I am on a mission to love my body and to be comfortable in my own skin. I know it has to be possible. It won't matter how much weight I lose if I can't love my body as it is now I will never be happy with it.

Progress of 24 Day Challenge {Day 5}

I am super excited about my progress with the AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge!!! I started on Monday 10/3/16. I had been stuck at 192.2 throughout September. Between our move and the kiddos back in school my stress levels where crazy high and with PCOS that just makes matters worse. I am happy I was able to maintain and not actually gain during September.

However, I know that I needed to step things up if I wanted to keep progressing towards my goals. My next goal is to get to 180. See where I started here.

  

I weighed in on Friday 10/7. That's 4 full days of my 10 day cleanse phase of the challenge. I have already lost 3.6 lbs!!! I've never been on a cleanse that was this easy before! I actually get to eat real food and I am not in the bathroom 27/4. I work full time and it hasn't interfered with my job. I feel pretty amazing too. I will tell ya around day three I was a little irritable. I vented to a friend and got over it and by Thursday morning I was feeling great.

 

I feel better than I have in a long time. I eat 6-7 times a day. I count Weight Watcher points to stay on track with my calorie intake. I know all too well how quickly calories can get out of control! I do follow the Herbal Cleanse precisely with the exception that I have added an extra dosage of OmegaPlex daily.

I will post an update after my full 10 Days of the cleanse and then my weight and measurements after the 24 days! So stay tuned!  

Life is a Balancing Act! Stress and Weight Loss

So this summer has been hectic to say the least! We had a graduation, a wedding, drove to Texas and back three times in June. My Grandma and Aunt from Washington came to visit. My son turned 13. Now, I can't believe my kiddos go back to school in a week! Time has literally flown by! Working on getting the kiddos to bed at a decent time is not going to be easy. They are already fighting me on it!

Last weekend my hubby's car left us stranded out of town. We then spent a few days looking for the right one to purchase for him. We were blessed with the great deal we found. On top of that we want to move closer to the kiddos' school. They actually go to school 19 miles south of where we live currently. Then I drive north for work. We may have found a rental and should know by tomorrow afternoon. We've been trying to move out that way for a few years but nothing stays on the market long. Although we know that everything will work out, it is stressful.


I have a recall on my van so I have to take it to the shop tomorrow to get it fixed. I get to take a shuttle to work...super fun. Then we have open house for school on Tuesday. Taking a long weekend before school starts to go to the beach and my daughter is having issues with her feet.

Typically when life gets out of hand I get distracted. I refuse to get distracted no matter how crazy life gets! This time I've just kept swimming...metaphorically that is. Ha! Plus I keep doing my affirmations. They really do help!

I'm continually tracking my weight watchers points in my food journal, exercising, drinking my water and getting my 8 hours of sleep in when possible.  I follow the basics of weight loss. You can't go wrong by following these steps!

I had my weigh in two days ago. I am down 1.2 lbs.! Yay! The week before the scale didn't budge at all. Of course Aunt Flo was visiting for the second time in July. Thanks PCOS.
 
I am focusing on 1 lb. at a time. Exercising and eating healthy actually helps me through the stressful times. I did have my cheat meal today. I ate too much chicken alfredo and I had a glass of wine. It's okay though because next time I intend to only have the serving size on my cheat meal. Plus I went for a 45 minute walk after dinner and am currently at 12,246 steps. Now time for sleep...

Failing Regularly But Still Fighting

I have been exhausted this past weekend. I napped for two hours Saturday afternoon…then I made bad food choices. I did get my wellness visit off my to-do list. (I love that my Dr. is open on Saturdays!) I am being checked for the following:

• B12 Deficiency
• Basic metabolic panel
• Complete blood count
• Lipid panel
• Liver function panel
• Thyroid/Hormone
• Vitamin D Deficiency

I am eager to get the results but it could be up to a week before I hear back. My moods have been up and down like a roller-coaster…thanks PCOS…

So I was going to do a body cleanse over this past weekend but I spent most of my time having a mini pity party and lying in bed. (My kiddos were at their dad’s house) I did manage to drink a tablespoon of Epsom salt dissolved in 8 oz. of water.  Usually it works within 8-12 hours. Nope. Nothing. Finally after 48 hours it hit me. Of course I was at the grocery store! Lucky me! LOL 

I have felt all out of sorts for the past few weeks. It’s like I started this blog to keep me on track and inspire others and I am a giant mess! I know that I have to keep pressing forward. Yeah I struggled over the weekend and I am super hormonal. I did go to the doctor to see if they can shed some light on what’s going on. I also got right back to tracking in my food journal, I continually hit 10,000+ steps each day, I am eating my fruits and veggies and I am getting plenty of water in. 

So I am not totally back to square one. I just have to keep practicing to stay on track over the weekend. This seems to be my downfall. I thrive in structured, planned environments. (Until I get super bored that is). Maybe I need to structure my weekends more. 

I am still doing my affirmations and I really have increased saying them more and more the last two days. I seem to be happier. Of course this is one of my affirmations. ;) I am setting goals and moving forward. If you aim for nothing, you’ll hit it every time.    

I also signed up to be an AdvoCare distributor. I have been using their products for the past two years and I love them! I think this is something new and exciting and has breathed new life into me. As cliche as that sounds. LOL I do get bored easily.  

Affirmations: Helping Affirm Who You Want to Be!

Somehow along the way we pick up negative thoughts about ourselves. They could have been given to us by others or we create them. I struggle with negative thoughts on a daily basis.

Affirmations have helped me be successful in the past. I just got out of the habit of saying them. I am excited to start them again. 

I have learned from my experiences in the past that affirmations should be phrased positively, be in the present tense and be possessive. They do not have to be super elaborate but they need to be specific. Envision how you want to be and then speak to yourself as if you are already that way. These help us to see ourselves in a new way.

Affirm the positive behavior that you want. Say your affirmations to yourself daily. You can say them as you drift off to sleep at night, when you wake up and throughout the day. Repetition will make them a reality.
 
My Affirmations:

• I am happy and enjoy each day.
• I am worthy of love.
• I have a healthy self-image.
• I have the desire and motivation to be healthy in body, mind and spirit. 
• I enjoy exercising and I am full of energy. 
• I have control of my anxiety and I remain calm when stressed. 
• I am working daily on becoming the person I want to be.  

I am struggling with my anxiety and being tired all of the time so I tried to write my affirmations to work on those things. I am going to my doctor tomorrow for my wellness visit and I am going to talk to her about always being tired. I am sure it's related to my PCOS but I wonder if there is something I can do other than what I am already doing.

Today was the first day to recite my new affirmations. I am going to do these for the next 30 days and see if there are any changes. I encourage you to write your own affirmations or use the ones above.

The Journey Begins...

I am ashamed when I look in the mirror. My weight, my size, my fat is the results of my emotions…my inability to control the guilt and pain I have. The saying, “what you eat in private, you wear in public”, couldn’t be truer for me. When I’m sad, anxious, overwhelmed, or depressed I eat. When the past tries to escape the surface of my subconscious, I eat. Sometimes I eat until I feel guilty or even sick and I forget about the past…at least temporarily. 

I am tired of the cycle. I want healing. I’ve been here before. I have the knowledge of how to lose weight. It’s putting it in action. I’ve been working on my “lifestyle” change for six months so far (this time around anyways). I am currently stuck at 202. It’s been about 2 months since I have made any real progress. I am so close to entering ONEderland. I don’t know what’s holding me back. I really thought this would be the week…I worked so hard this last week. I know my sleep was lacking at times and I had a binge night that didn’t end well. But I picked myself up the next day and got back on track.

 

I’ve lost 35 lbs. over the last six months which is progress and for that I am happy. This plateau feels like failure though. I cried so hard after realizing that this was NOT the week for this stepping stone on my journey. It’s a BIG stepping stone though. I haven’t been below 200 lbs. in quite some time. It’s time to move forward. Fall down seven times, stand up eight. It can just be so hard sometimes…but so is being unhealthy and overweight. I have to continue for my kiddos, for my husband and for myself. I know that when I take care of myself I can take better care of them. I want to have energy to get things done, mark off my to-do lists. I want to keep my house clean. I want to enjoy time with my family. I want to have a happy and productive life. 

 My journey has just begun. I am ready to be the best me I can be and the best wife and momma I was meant to be. It will be a balancing act I’m sure but I’m up for the challenge. Join me in this adventure. It’s gonna be crazy at times, emotionally trying and downright hard. But it will be worth it. I am worth it! If you’re reading this, you are worth it too! 

We have one life to live and one body to live it in. We must take care of the bodies we’ve been given or we will not have anywhere to live. Dead. Super dead. Or even worse, we’ll live miserable lives full of ailments and aches and pains. Never fully enjoying life the way it was meant to be; full of happiness and joy. I’m bound and determined to enter ONEderland and never leave!