Celebrating Non-scale Victories!!!

I have had 3 non-scale victories this week and it's only Wednesday! I forgot how awesome they feel! I have been so focused on that scale not budging much over the last few weeks that I have gotten a little discouraged. I have still pushed on though. In the past this would have been the point that I threw in the towel. Did I mention this is my 4th time to lose weight? I also have PCOS which likes to play games with my hormones and can make it more difficult to lose at times.

Okay so on to the positive stuff!!! Monday I was super exhausted! Plus I have been stressed. I really wanted to binge eat. I had a ton of cravings and I only have 14 Flex points left for the week (which I plan to use on Thanksgiving). I had just went grocery shopping and had some junk in the cabinets. I have not complete convinced my family to go 100% healthy and they are a small army that overpower me! ha (I do encourage serving sizes and moderation) Needless to say we had bags of chips and sugary cereal to name a few. I contemplated and tried to justify my need for sugar and carbs for about 10-15 minutes. Instead I went and took a bath. I wasn't hungry anyways and it was 9pm. This may seem small and unimportant for some but when you are an emotional binge eater and you are stressed THIS IS HUGE! I almost always give into to my ridiculous cravings.

Yesterday we had our Thanksgiving celebration at work. We had didn't do a tradition feast but there was still a lot of unhealthy options. Luckily there were enough healthy options to pick from. My dear friend made a gluten free veggie lasagna. The real non-scale victory was staying away from the dessert table! Did I mention that I LOVE sweets? They are my kryptonite! Victory #2!

Another friend gave me a ton of her clothes that she doesn't wear anymore or never wore at all. I was super stoked. I love a good deal! ;) So I mentioned to her that I had a pair of the pants on and she mentioned them being size 13/14. I told her no, I thought they were 16. Got me thinking...so I went and checked. Sure enough they WERE a size 13/14!!! I didn't even know! At the beginning of the year I wore an 18/20. Victory #3!

There it is. Three things that I am super grateful for. Small things that matter. I am working on loving my body for what it is and what it can do now instead of hating it for what it's not. This includes not letting the scale define me. Yes, I need to be within a healthy weight but as long as I'm working daily at achieving that I am okay with it taking as long as it takes.

What are some of your non-scale victories that you need to celebrate?

Self Image Struggles

I have been struggling with the time change. I feel like I am trying to hibernate! The last few evenings I have been carb loading and trying to pass-out around 7:30pm. Plus there was the stress of the Election...

I have also been struggling with body image lately. I feel stagnant in my weight loss. It is coming off more slowly as the year progresses. Which is understandable. It typically comes off faster at first as you introduce diet change and physical fitness. I keep pushing forward even after I fall down...This week I lost 4 oz. Better than a gain though.

I can remember at one point early into my weight loss journey my resting heart rate was at 94. Did you hear that??? 94!!! That's not good! Now my resting heart rate is about 64/65. So over the last 10 months I have reduced my resting heart rate 30 points. My heart is working more effectively now.

So over the last 10 months I have lost 51 lbs, lost several inches(I need to find my starting inches), a few pant sizes and lowered my resting heart rate 30 points and I still struggle to see that big of a difference. I emotionally feel like I am still 237 lbs on some days.

I am trying to focus on what my body can do rather than what it isn't. I know that I will never have my body back to the way it was before I had kiddos. I gained 90 lbs with my first pregnancy. I didn't just get stretchmarks, I got skin tears. Everywhere. Even the backs of my knees. That cute little belly ring I was once able to wear will never see the light of day again. There is loose skin and sad boobies. lol But you know what? I can walk. I have all of my limbs. I can play with my children. I am otherwise healthy (with the exception of my PCOS and anxiety disorder). My husband thinks I am beautiful.

Why do I put so much value on my outward appearance? Of course you feel better when you take care of yourself. That's not what I mean...but when I look in the mirror all I can see is my "mom tummy" and the bags under my eyes. I am getting older by the minute. I am more than that though. I know this. 

I am on a mission to love my body and to be comfortable in my own skin. I know it has to be possible. It won't matter how much weight I lose if I can't love my body as it is now I will never be happy with it.

Weight Loss Update Since the Move: Back on Track!

We are starting to settle into the new home. Still have a garage full of boxes but life is starting to look normal again. I was scared to weigh myself since we had been grabbing convenience food for a week or so. I did finally get on the scale because I knew if I didn’t I would continue to let it get out of hand and it would end up worse than what it could be. I dreadfully stepped on the scale and it read 195.6. Okay. Not as bad as I thought. I only gained 2.4 lbs. over three weeks or so. I was really scared that it would be more.  

I know the only way to lose weight and even maintain my weight is to make healthy choices and keep track of everything I am eating. I did not do that. I was highly stressed and didn’t manage it well. Plus I ran out of my AdvoCare vitamins! 

I was starting to feel defeated again and starting to plan my next pity party. This is when I remembered my new motto: fall down seven times, stand up eight...I am only a failure when I give up!

 

During the midst of the craziness I decided I would try the 21 day fix. I wanted to change things up a bit. I thought it would give me something to focus on. I bought containers, made a binder, started a pinterest board and looked up as much info as I could. I failed on day one. 

Although the plan seems great, there wasn’t much wiggle room. I realize it is about clean eating and portion control but there was no “cheat” meal, no day off…nothing to look forward to lol. (Of course this is just the info I found online and I did not speak with an advisor for the plan.) It set me up for failure right away. All of a sudden I felt restricted and controlled. Don't get me wrong I still think this plan is good and can work for others but for me it just didn't fit. At least not at this time in my life. I do like some of the tips and food ideas and will incorporate them.

With that said, this is why I love Weight Watchers. Freedom. I get to choose. I track what I eat and stay within my daily points. I do plan out my days and I do the prep work. I love fruits and veggies so I always get 5+ servings in a day. If I get in a pinch for time, Weight Watchers is much more forgiving. I am back to following Weight Watchers since 9/4/16. It works. It’s all about portion control. I weighed in on 9/9/16 kinda nervous since it had been online 5 days but I was at 192.2!!!

I just know that this is where I need to be at this point in my journey and am excited to be back at it. I was feeling really blah! Next stop 190!!! See y'all there!

Weightloss Journey Update: Ups and Downs

The journey is hard right now. Ups and downs are expected. The downs suck. I have been completely sidetracked. I am exhausted mentally and physically. I am trying to juggle so many things. I started relying on food again. I am starting to recognize the emotional eating cycles.

I haven't worked out in a week and a half. I haven't actually cared. That's a bad place to be. I hate it. I skipped my weigh in last Friday because I didn't want to know. I'm going to guess a weight gain. My sacroiliac joint is acting up and has been creating pain and issues with walking at times.

My family and I took a three day weekend and went to the beach. It was nice to get away and have fun. We were headed down to Texas anyways to take my step-son home. Spent time with family while we were there too. While I was there I picked up an audio CD at a rummage sale. It is called Body for Life by Bill Phillips. It helped me refocus on my goals. It is getting me out of my slump.

I know I can be hard on myself. I think we are always harder on ourselves. What would I say to a friend? It wouldn't be things like: you suck, you're a loser, you should be ashamed, etc. Why do I tell myself these things? I would tell my friend it's okay, your mistakes don't define you, you can do this! These are things I should be telling myself. This goes back to affirmations.

I will make better plans. I will make healthier choices. I will get through this rough patch. I will weigh in this week, no matter what! I am already back on track today.

Sometimes I find that if I am going hardcore, a break is nice. It can jump start me back in to the game. The problem is when the break is too long and your old lifestyle drags you back. Not going to let that happen. I need to extend myself some grace. A week off isn't going to kill me. It's over. I can't change it now. I can only move forward and try to stay positive.

Life is a Balancing Act! Stress and Weight Loss

So this summer has been hectic to say the least! We had a graduation, a wedding, drove to Texas and back three times in June. My Grandma and Aunt from Washington came to visit. My son turned 13. Now, I can't believe my kiddos go back to school in a week! Time has literally flown by! Working on getting the kiddos to bed at a decent time is not going to be easy. They are already fighting me on it!

Last weekend my hubby's car left us stranded out of town. We then spent a few days looking for the right one to purchase for him. We were blessed with the great deal we found. On top of that we want to move closer to the kiddos' school. They actually go to school 19 miles south of where we live currently. Then I drive north for work. We may have found a rental and should know by tomorrow afternoon. We've been trying to move out that way for a few years but nothing stays on the market long. Although we know that everything will work out, it is stressful.


I have a recall on my van so I have to take it to the shop tomorrow to get it fixed. I get to take a shuttle to work...super fun. Then we have open house for school on Tuesday. Taking a long weekend before school starts to go to the beach and my daughter is having issues with her feet.

Typically when life gets out of hand I get distracted. I refuse to get distracted no matter how crazy life gets! This time I've just kept swimming...metaphorically that is. Ha! Plus I keep doing my affirmations. They really do help!

I'm continually tracking my weight watchers points in my food journal, exercising, drinking my water and getting my 8 hours of sleep in when possible.  I follow the basics of weight loss. You can't go wrong by following these steps!

I had my weigh in two days ago. I am down 1.2 lbs.! Yay! The week before the scale didn't budge at all. Of course Aunt Flo was visiting for the second time in July. Thanks PCOS.
 
I am focusing on 1 lb. at a time. Exercising and eating healthy actually helps me through the stressful times. I did have my cheat meal today. I ate too much chicken alfredo and I had a glass of wine. It's okay though because next time I intend to only have the serving size on my cheat meal. Plus I went for a 45 minute walk after dinner and am currently at 12,246 steps. Now time for sleep...

Struggling with Emotional Eating

I am consumed with emotions. My brain is wired differently than someone without anxiety. I hate it. I know that I am misunderstood. I don't want my anxiety to be an excuse for my behavior, for my thoughts. I want control of my thoughts. Still trying to grasp how do that though. I want to overcome this disorder. I know that it will be an everyday battle but I want more victories than failures.

Last night was a semi-failure. I ate a pint of strawberries after dinner but that didn't fill me up. I also ate a bag of microwave popcorn. That didn't help either. I laid in bed feeling empty but full of regret. I got on Pinterest and happened upon a blog post about binge eating. It was just there in my news feed like I was meant to find it. Her words spoke to me so loudly. She was right to say that food would not fill my emptiness. In that moment I stopped and realized the truth behind that statement. My mind was YELLING to go to the pantry, you are hungry...get the food...it will make the empty feeling go away. The reality is it wouldn't have filled me up at all. I know that I was avoiding. Avoiding these emotions. Avoiding the overwhelming amount of housework I had on my to-do list, not knowing where to start.

I continually box stuff up to donate but every time I turn around there is more stuff.  So wore out from the "spring cleaning" I started in January. It's July. I have a box that lives in my dining room that I toss stuff into on a weekly basis. At the same time, I hold on to things way too long. I hold onto material possessions like I do emotions and bad memories. I see how that two are connected.

This last week has been a roller coaster of emotions.  First with sever PMS symptoms, family issues and then deadlines at work. I found myself in the comfort of potato chips too many times. Now I am stressing about my weigh in tomorrow. I don't want to leave onederland.

I tried to go to bed early last night to avoid the pantry. I woke up four times and had bad dreams. The kind where you are so sad and when you wake up it feels real. Super sad. But I got out of bed at 6 am, had my coffee and worked out before work. Still waiting for these feelings to pass; knowing they are not permanent.

Praying for comfort and for strength to be stronger than my temptations. I know that this will pass but it is so uncomfortable at the moment. I’m squirming! I am going to start doing affirmations again. They seemed to help me mentally and emotionally. It was one of those things that you don’t really notice how much it helped until you stop doing it. I did a 30 day challenge at the beginning of the year. I received a list of affirmations that were written for a life skills class. I had to read them out loud while making eye contact with myself in the mirror. This time I will write them for myself. Stay tuned for the list! You can do them with me too!

Why Can't Life Be Stress Free???

The struggle is real. No joke intended. I can easily allow my circumstance to dictate my mood. I know that I shouldn’t. I constantly have to remind myself to STOP! Snap out of it! Appreciate this day, this moment. Right now in my life my children are not little anymore. I’m grateful but sad at the same time. My daughter, who is a pre-tween, tests me and my nerves daily. Regularly feeling like a failure. It’s very stressful and trying not to slip into past habits. I cannot say that I have been 100% successful at this.

How do you beat stress? It can come in many forms like a strong-willed child, a messy home, work, money, even your marriage at times. Stress will be present in our lives. But I definitely believe that you can work towards minimizing the damage it causes.

Laugh. Or even just smile. I like to get on Pinterest and look at funny cat pictures or gifs. YouTube has a ton of funny videos too! At work, my co-worker and I giggle most of the day in between phone calls or while we are typing. Just by talking in ridiculous voices or mentioning something funny our kids did. I am blessed to share an office with her. This really helps on stressful days. At home, my kiddos and I watch “Try not to laugh” videos on YouTube. I usually lose on the first clip. lol

Workout. Get moving! The other day I was sooo stressed out with deadlines at work, the house was messy, my husband left his lights on and his car battery died so I had to drive on the other side of town to help, and honestly I was a bit hormonal. All I wanted to do was EAT! I can’t say I was the most pleasant to be around but I did withstand the temptation to slip into old habits. I actually had a desire to sweat. I knew I would feel better. My daughter and I went to play racquetball. We only lasted 30 minutes because it was still probably 90 degrees at 8 pm. We had a ton of fun and were drenched in sweat. I felt sooo much better!!! It was way better than the alternative of my wallowing in my own self-pity.

Write it out. Because screaming at the top of your lungs is frowned upon. Not to say I haven’t ever done this. I journal regularly and it seems to help. I am able to get my feelings out and they seem less intense. Don't forget to express gratitude for what you do have. So often we get caught up with what's going wrong. I know I am guilty of this. Plus I love cute journals/notebooks! 

Put on music. I have music on all day at work (unless I take a phone call). I listen to it on my phone and keep one ear bud in. I have been listening to Pandora's Workout Radio station for about 4 weeks. If there is a song I don't like I just give it a thumbs down. I like how it customizes the station just for me. You can easily create an upbeat playlist to keep on your phone as well.  

Sleep. Go to bed a little earlier than usual. Make sure you are getting the recommended 7-9 hours of sleep a night. Take a nap if you can. I love a good Sunday afternoon nap! Granted I only get one once or twice a year but they are wonderful. I have even went to my car on a lunch break and set a timer on my phone for 20-30 minutes. Of course I try to park where no one can see me. This is also a lot easier when it's not the middle of a southern summer heat wave and I don't have to use the air.

There are so many more things you can do but these three are super simple and easy to add into your daily routine. Are there other things y'all do to beat stress?