Importance of Journaling

Some women love shoes...I love journals and notebooks! I love putting pen to paper. I have my food journal with me at all times. Only way for me to track properly. I usually have a smaller notebook about 5x7 or a smidge smaller. This way it can easily fit into my purse.

I also keep a prayer journal. I find it easier to talk to God this way. Usually if I start to pray out loud (technically in my head) next thing you know I'm over in left field off on another tangent. Writing helps me stay focused on the Lord and to show all of my gratitude...and of course pray!

I only have a few pages left in my prayer and food journals. You know what that means! I got to take a stroll down the stationary aisle. I ended up with two new journals and then two super cute composition notebooks. I couldn't decide which I liked best...so I got them all.

My prayer journal has the scripture of Psalms 118:24 on the front. "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it". In love! I usually get up about 5:30 am to start my day and this will be a great reminder to be joyful!

The "yes you can" composition notebook will be my goals notebook. I am starting to write my goals in 12 week increments. As I accomplish goals and find things that aren't working I will need to update them. Three months seems like a great time to re-evaluate. 

The "anything is possible" composition notebook is just for funsies right now.  Who knows. I am sure I can assign a purpose to it.

I pulled a muscle in my left quad so I have been taking it easy today. I happen to have an appointment scheduled with a massage therapist tomorrow but I don't know if that will help? I will talk to her bout it. This is the first time I have had a pulled quad. lol Other than magnesium oil and a bit of heat I'm not sure what to do with it.

While I rest up I am going to start writing in my notebooks. Making my goals super official. To achieve your dreams you must turn them into goals. Then turn your goals into affirmations. Writing time!

Self Image Struggles

I have been struggling with the time change. I feel like I am trying to hibernate! The last few evenings I have been carb loading and trying to pass-out around 7:30pm. Plus there was the stress of the Election...

I have also been struggling with body image lately. I feel stagnant in my weight loss. It is coming off more slowly as the year progresses. Which is understandable. It typically comes off faster at first as you introduce diet change and physical fitness. I keep pushing forward even after I fall down...This week I lost 4 oz. Better than a gain though.

I can remember at one point early into my weight loss journey my resting heart rate was at 94. Did you hear that??? 94!!! That's not good! Now my resting heart rate is about 64/65. So over the last 10 months I have reduced my resting heart rate 30 points. My heart is working more effectively now.

So over the last 10 months I have lost 51 lbs, lost several inches(I need to find my starting inches), a few pant sizes and lowered my resting heart rate 30 points and I still struggle to see that big of a difference. I emotionally feel like I am still 237 lbs on some days.

I am trying to focus on what my body can do rather than what it isn't. I know that I will never have my body back to the way it was before I had kiddos. I gained 90 lbs with my first pregnancy. I didn't just get stretchmarks, I got skin tears. Everywhere. Even the backs of my knees. That cute little belly ring I was once able to wear will never see the light of day again. There is loose skin and sad boobies. lol But you know what? I can walk. I have all of my limbs. I can play with my children. I am otherwise healthy (with the exception of my PCOS and anxiety disorder). My husband thinks I am beautiful.

Why do I put so much value on my outward appearance? Of course you feel better when you take care of yourself. That's not what I mean...but when I look in the mirror all I can see is my "mom tummy" and the bags under my eyes. I am getting older by the minute. I am more than that though. I know this. 

I am on a mission to love my body and to be comfortable in my own skin. I know it has to be possible. It won't matter how much weight I lose if I can't love my body as it is now I will never be happy with it.

Progress of 24 Day Challenge {Day10}

I meant to post a few days ago...then the weekend happened! We went rollerskating Friday night after work, I had a training on Saturday followed by a baby shower and then we visited with my momma for most of today for our birthday, which is tomorrow.

I completed my 10 Herbal Cleanse on Wednesday 10/12/2016. I weighed in on Thursday morning and my scale read 188.0. That's a total of  4.2 lbs from 10/3. I didn't really feel like the scale represented the true progress of the cleanse because Aunt Flo had visited me earlier in the week.

 

My typical weigh-in time is always Friday mornings. I went ahead and got on the scale Friday as well and it read 186.2!!! So I feel this is my more accurate results of the cleanse even though there was one extra day added to the total.

For those of you that don't know, I have PCOS and I typically get multiple warning signs when my visitor is coming. This time I had no clue. There were no crazy cravings, no mood swings and no cramping except a little on the first day. It was kinda awesome. I am usually always miserable a few days before and even after.

I have not taken measurements. I will save that for the end of the 24 Day Challenge that will end on 10/26/2016. I can tell you that my clothes are fitting looser...especially my pants!

Now I am on to the Max Phase and I am excited to build up my core nutrition and continuing to work towards my goals. Stay tuned for the final results!

Progress of 24 Day Challenge {Day 5}

I am super excited about my progress with the AdvoCare 24 Day Challenge!!! I started on Monday 10/3/16. I had been stuck at 192.2 throughout September. Between our move and the kiddos back in school my stress levels where crazy high and with PCOS that just makes matters worse. I am happy I was able to maintain and not actually gain during September.

However, I know that I needed to step things up if I wanted to keep progressing towards my goals. My next goal is to get to 180. See where I started here.

  

I weighed in on Friday 10/7. That's 4 full days of my 10 day cleanse phase of the challenge. I have already lost 3.6 lbs!!! I've never been on a cleanse that was this easy before! I actually get to eat real food and I am not in the bathroom 27/4. I work full time and it hasn't interfered with my job. I feel pretty amazing too. I will tell ya around day three I was a little irritable. I vented to a friend and got over it and by Thursday morning I was feeling great.

 

I feel better than I have in a long time. I eat 6-7 times a day. I count Weight Watcher points to stay on track with my calorie intake. I know all too well how quickly calories can get out of control! I do follow the Herbal Cleanse precisely with the exception that I have added an extra dosage of OmegaPlex daily.

I will post an update after my full 10 Days of the cleanse and then my weight and measurements after the 24 days! So stay tuned!  

Weightloss Journey Update: Ups and Downs

The journey is hard right now. Ups and downs are expected. The downs suck. I have been completely sidetracked. I am exhausted mentally and physically. I am trying to juggle so many things. I started relying on food again. I am starting to recognize the emotional eating cycles.

I haven't worked out in a week and a half. I haven't actually cared. That's a bad place to be. I hate it. I skipped my weigh in last Friday because I didn't want to know. I'm going to guess a weight gain. My sacroiliac joint is acting up and has been creating pain and issues with walking at times.

My family and I took a three day weekend and went to the beach. It was nice to get away and have fun. We were headed down to Texas anyways to take my step-son home. Spent time with family while we were there too. While I was there I picked up an audio CD at a rummage sale. It is called Body for Life by Bill Phillips. It helped me refocus on my goals. It is getting me out of my slump.

I know I can be hard on myself. I think we are always harder on ourselves. What would I say to a friend? It wouldn't be things like: you suck, you're a loser, you should be ashamed, etc. Why do I tell myself these things? I would tell my friend it's okay, your mistakes don't define you, you can do this! These are things I should be telling myself. This goes back to affirmations.

I will make better plans. I will make healthier choices. I will get through this rough patch. I will weigh in this week, no matter what! I am already back on track today.

Sometimes I find that if I am going hardcore, a break is nice. It can jump start me back in to the game. The problem is when the break is too long and your old lifestyle drags you back. Not going to let that happen. I need to extend myself some grace. A week off isn't going to kill me. It's over. I can't change it now. I can only move forward and try to stay positive.

Struggling with Emotional Eating

I am consumed with emotions. My brain is wired differently than someone without anxiety. I hate it. I know that I am misunderstood. I don't want my anxiety to be an excuse for my behavior, for my thoughts. I want control of my thoughts. Still trying to grasp how do that though. I want to overcome this disorder. I know that it will be an everyday battle but I want more victories than failures.

Last night was a semi-failure. I ate a pint of strawberries after dinner but that didn't fill me up. I also ate a bag of microwave popcorn. That didn't help either. I laid in bed feeling empty but full of regret. I got on Pinterest and happened upon a blog post about binge eating. It was just there in my news feed like I was meant to find it. Her words spoke to me so loudly. She was right to say that food would not fill my emptiness. In that moment I stopped and realized the truth behind that statement. My mind was YELLING to go to the pantry, you are hungry...get the food...it will make the empty feeling go away. The reality is it wouldn't have filled me up at all. I know that I was avoiding. Avoiding these emotions. Avoiding the overwhelming amount of housework I had on my to-do list, not knowing where to start.

I continually box stuff up to donate but every time I turn around there is more stuff.  So wore out from the "spring cleaning" I started in January. It's July. I have a box that lives in my dining room that I toss stuff into on a weekly basis. At the same time, I hold on to things way too long. I hold onto material possessions like I do emotions and bad memories. I see how that two are connected.

This last week has been a roller coaster of emotions.  First with sever PMS symptoms, family issues and then deadlines at work. I found myself in the comfort of potato chips too many times. Now I am stressing about my weigh in tomorrow. I don't want to leave onederland.

I tried to go to bed early last night to avoid the pantry. I woke up four times and had bad dreams. The kind where you are so sad and when you wake up it feels real. Super sad. But I got out of bed at 6 am, had my coffee and worked out before work. Still waiting for these feelings to pass; knowing they are not permanent.

Praying for comfort and for strength to be stronger than my temptations. I know that this will pass but it is so uncomfortable at the moment. I’m squirming! I am going to start doing affirmations again. They seemed to help me mentally and emotionally. It was one of those things that you don’t really notice how much it helped until you stop doing it. I did a 30 day challenge at the beginning of the year. I received a list of affirmations that were written for a life skills class. I had to read them out loud while making eye contact with myself in the mirror. This time I will write them for myself. Stay tuned for the list! You can do them with me too!

Why Can't Life Be Stress Free???

The struggle is real. No joke intended. I can easily allow my circumstance to dictate my mood. I know that I shouldn’t. I constantly have to remind myself to STOP! Snap out of it! Appreciate this day, this moment. Right now in my life my children are not little anymore. I’m grateful but sad at the same time. My daughter, who is a pre-tween, tests me and my nerves daily. Regularly feeling like a failure. It’s very stressful and trying not to slip into past habits. I cannot say that I have been 100% successful at this.

How do you beat stress? It can come in many forms like a strong-willed child, a messy home, work, money, even your marriage at times. Stress will be present in our lives. But I definitely believe that you can work towards minimizing the damage it causes.

Laugh. Or even just smile. I like to get on Pinterest and look at funny cat pictures or gifs. YouTube has a ton of funny videos too! At work, my co-worker and I giggle most of the day in between phone calls or while we are typing. Just by talking in ridiculous voices or mentioning something funny our kids did. I am blessed to share an office with her. This really helps on stressful days. At home, my kiddos and I watch “Try not to laugh” videos on YouTube. I usually lose on the first clip. lol

Workout. Get moving! The other day I was sooo stressed out with deadlines at work, the house was messy, my husband left his lights on and his car battery died so I had to drive on the other side of town to help, and honestly I was a bit hormonal. All I wanted to do was EAT! I can’t say I was the most pleasant to be around but I did withstand the temptation to slip into old habits. I actually had a desire to sweat. I knew I would feel better. My daughter and I went to play racquetball. We only lasted 30 minutes because it was still probably 90 degrees at 8 pm. We had a ton of fun and were drenched in sweat. I felt sooo much better!!! It was way better than the alternative of my wallowing in my own self-pity.

Write it out. Because screaming at the top of your lungs is frowned upon. Not to say I haven’t ever done this. I journal regularly and it seems to help. I am able to get my feelings out and they seem less intense. Don't forget to express gratitude for what you do have. So often we get caught up with what's going wrong. I know I am guilty of this. Plus I love cute journals/notebooks! 

Put on music. I have music on all day at work (unless I take a phone call). I listen to it on my phone and keep one ear bud in. I have been listening to Pandora's Workout Radio station for about 4 weeks. If there is a song I don't like I just give it a thumbs down. I like how it customizes the station just for me. You can easily create an upbeat playlist to keep on your phone as well.  

Sleep. Go to bed a little earlier than usual. Make sure you are getting the recommended 7-9 hours of sleep a night. Take a nap if you can. I love a good Sunday afternoon nap! Granted I only get one once or twice a year but they are wonderful. I have even went to my car on a lunch break and set a timer on my phone for 20-30 minutes. Of course I try to park where no one can see me. This is also a lot easier when it's not the middle of a southern summer heat wave and I don't have to use the air.

There are so many more things you can do but these three are super simple and easy to add into your daily routine. Are there other things y'all do to beat stress?